It Was Just Something They Didn't Talk About
by Rushery
Summary: They both knew that each other knew. They just didn't need to talk about it.


A/N: Yay! Another drabble. I really like broody/dark fics, the depth of emotion in them has its own gravity. Let me know what you think! Any feedback/reviews are appreciated :)

It was just something they didn't talk about.

Sasuke had a tight reign on his demons during the day but during the night, they took full advantage of his weaker grip. They haunted him in the worst ways, showing him people he had loved, things he had loved, bonds he had cherished, what could have been, and what should have been. It was so much more than just the loss of his entire family in one night, it was what could have been with Team Seven, it was his relationship with Itachi, and it was the relationship he had wanted with his father. It was the future he was supposed to have as a Konoha shinobi, his pride as an outstanding shinobi from an outstanding bloodline, his bond with his mentor Kakashi. It was the people who had trusted him yet he threw them away without a second thought. And it was the times that Death had called his name but he was too stubborn to listen, and the times he had called for Death begging for mercy, only to be taunted with silence.

Sasuke's demons showed him the sweetest of dreams before breaking each of his fingers to pull them violently from his grasp and throw them into the pile of things that wouldvecouldveshouldve been but would never be.

The first time Sakura woke up to him having a nightmare he was thrashing about in their bed. It had alarmed her at first, and she jumped out of bed to grab a kunai before realizing it wasn't an intruder who had woken her up.

"Sasuke." She whispered, "Sasuke." a little louder. "Sasuke wake up." She realized he couldn't hear her then reached out to touch his arm. He immediately stopped moving at the touch so she slid back into bed and wrapped her much smaller arm around his bicep, anchoring him back into this world. She lay awake for a few minutes before calming down and being lulled back to sleep by the sound of his breath evening out.

The fourth time, a subtle shift she felt in her sleep had briefly woken her up only for her to notice her back was against Sasuke's chest. If Sakura hadn't been so dazed by sleep, she would've sworn she could feel the faintest feeling of a trickle running down her neck and a tight grip around her waist.

The twelfth time, she was reading a medical scroll as Sasuke slept quietly beside her. They had spent the day at the training grounds with the rest of Team 7 and as far as she could tell, he was exhausted and sound asleep. Just as sleep was beginning to weigh down her eyelids she heard a sound come from Sasuke's side of the bed. She looked over to see his brows scrunched up as if in pain and a slight frown on his face.

"Sasuke?" Sakura gently called his name and brushed his silky hair out of his eyes before brushing the pad of her thumb over his forehead. The furrow in his eyebrows began to relax as he let out another whimper.

"..Mom.. Don't go." Sakura wouldn't have believed she had even heard him utter the words she thought she did if she hadn't seen the faintest movement of his lips indicating he had. His brow creased again making his face look much more pained than the previous time.

It was in that moment that Sakura noticed how divinely beautiful his face looked painted with pride and pain. She couldn't help but think the gods must have felt the same.

With that, she placed the scroll on her nightstand, turned off the nightlight, and crawled under the covers up close to Sasuke. She fell asleep to the soothing rhythm of rubbing small circles on his back.

The time she lost count, she realized he hadn't slept for days. He had been coming to bed long after she was asleep and was already up with breakfast and coffee made when she got up for two days in a row. Sakura had put everything together when she came home at 12am on the third day from a double shift at the hospital, only to be called in at 4am for an emergency surgery. Sasuke had been sitting on their couch when she got in, and was sitting in almost the same spot when she woke up, except for the fact that the dishes had been washed and put away, the floor appeared to have been swept and mopped, and she could hear the sound of the washer and dryer. Sakura walked over to where he was on the couch, and gave him a gentle, lingering kiss explaining she would be back in a few hours.

When Sakura returned just before noon, Sasuke was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich. He had made one for her as well and she sat down with him and began eating. Afterwards she placed an endearing kiss on his lips thanking him for lunch, and letting him know she was off to bed for a quick nap. It was then that she noticed just how dark the area below his eyes were.

A quick nap had turned into a twelve hour snooze, and when Sakura woke up in the middle of the night still with no Sasuke in their bed, she got up and covered herself with one of his shirts before making her way downstairs.

He was still (somehow) sitting in the same spot so Sakura made them both mugs of tea before sitting next to him on the couch. Sasuke thanked her for the tea and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to sleep for so long," She began. "I couldn't fall back asleep, then I remembered telling you I only planned on having a nap so I came down to tell you I'm ok." Sasuke took a sip of his tea and leaned into her. He let his head rest on top of hers and listened as she continued. "I must have needed it though, the body can only go so long without sleep before it begins affecting cognition. After only 24 hours of not sleeping memory, decision-making, reaction time, and attention all become drastically impaired. Did you know that Sasuke-kun? Tsunade shishou often scolds me for working so long without sleeping and has even slipped sleeping pills into my food before." She shook her had at the memory. Sasuke chuckled lightly and took her mug from her, placing both of their mugs on the coffee table in front of them.

"And what else are you learning about at the hospital?" He asked as he lay down on his back and rested his head on Sakura's lap.

She absentmindedly began running one of her hands through his hair and started talking again.

"Well, today I was reading about the bacteria clostridium perfringens and how it causes gaseous gangrene. It's really interesting actually, there are three different types of gangrenous infections but the biochemistry of the gaseous gangrene is most interesting. There aren't really many cases anymore since people are generally educated on the importance of keeping wounds clean and sterile. The bacteria is an obligate anaerobic and infects muscle cells. It releases some really nasty toxins through its metabolic processes and that's what causes the symptoms."

Sakura looked down to see Sasuke had his eyes closed and was softly snoring. He looked peaceful as he slept and leaned into Sakura's touch as she continued stroking his hair. She smiled and thought of how there were many times when Sasuke looked anything other than his usual self, but he always looked heart-achingly beautiful.

I was just something they never talked about.

A/N: Well now you know a little (a lot) about gangrene haha. I'm doing a project in my microbiology class about it so it seemed fitting ^.^


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